Can We Actually Learn Something From TV and Movies?

Supernatural1It’s pretty much cliche for firearm bloggers to write about how Hollywood gets stuff wrong. Heck, I’m guilty of it myself. Sometimes, you just get a bit of writers block and it’s just too dang easy to turn on a random action movie or TV show and pick apart a scene with a “Lulz…look how stoopid this guy is” type of attitude.

Now, I’m not saying Hollywood doesn’t deserve every bit of the criticism and more. They really do screw stuff up more often than not. We’re talking scopes on backwards, horrible trigger discipline, incorrect terminology and more. Don’t even get me started on their laughable grasp of basic physics.

Either way, this isn’t going to be a rip on Hollywood article. In fact, I’m issuing a moratorium on “how Hollywood gets it wrong” articles on this site.

Let’s talk about something you actually can learn from movies. Maybe not in the gun department, mind you, but hear me out.

We’ll start off with an example from show I’ve recently discovered: “Supernatural”. Yes, I’m a bit behind on TV shows. If it’s not Doctor Who, Top Gear or Mythbusters I don’t pay much attention to it. My pitiful TV habits aside, there was a scene in one episode that got Mrs. Noob and I talking and, ultimately, provided the inspiration for this article.

It’s a common scene, a young girl is leaving work late at night. After a quick pause to check her phone, she pops in some ear buds, cranks up the music and starts to make her way through the empty streets of the city while continuing to fiddle with her phone or mp3 player. Initially, it’s uneventful. The dark, creepy alleys she passes are benign. She takes a shortcut through a poorly lit back street. At this point, the wide angled and slightly shaky camera shot start to imply that someone….or something is following her.

She stops and glances over her shoulder. Nothing in sight. Shrugging it off, she continues on. Then, there’s a noise. She pulls out one of her ear buds and looks around but still sees nothing. As she continues on, the shadows get darker and look…almost human. Sensing something is off, she quickens her pace. Once she see’s the creature’s shadow, she panics and runs.

Supernatural2Now at the fastest jog her high-heeled boots can support, she finally reaches her front door. With shaking hands, she searches through a key ring with an absurd number of keys on it and finally finds the key to the door. She quickly unlocks it and gets into the door, locking it behind her. The quickly zooming camera shot from outside shows that it was just in the nick of time. She relaxes. Throws her stuff on the camera and walks through her apartment. The shadows moving, however, lets us know that she’s still not safe. A quick shot of her terrified face then the screen goes black, accompanied by a “slash” and a “squish” sound gives us a pretty good idea of what happens next. Cue the opening credits of the show.

Raise your hand if this sounds familiar? Heck, it’s freaking stereotypical of just about every supernatural themed show…or slasher flick…or any movie/show involving a serial killer. Little details might vary here and there, mind you, but the overall scenario is the same every time.
We can discuss how Hollywood has run out of ideas later on our Facebook page.

For now, what can that scene teach us? If you said “situational awareness and the importance thereof” then give yourself a carrot! Other acceptable answers would be “preparation is key to prevent bad situations” and “Hollywood has REALLY run out of ideas”.

As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20. You know as well as I do, when you’re in a bad situation options aren’t always as apparent as they are after the fact. By analyzing bad situations from the benefit of our warm and safe computer areas, we can better prepare ourselves to see those options when push comes to shove.

So let’s look back at the previous scenario and see how things could be fixed.

First off: leaving work. Many people who work and live in cities tend to walk to take public transit. This opening sequence can, and has been adapted for all of those situations. Ever seen the actress/actor quickly make it to the car only to have the bad guy pop up out of the back seat? Any way, step one: If you’re working late at night, you should always have someone that you text to let them know when you leave work and when you get home. If you can, walk with others. If there’s a security guard, they’re usually more than happy to escort you to your car.

Also, forgo the music and put the phone away when you start your journey. You need to have your head up and your eyes and ears open. Listen for anything that seems out of place. I should note that concealed carry, if you’re walking home like this on a regular basis, might not be a bad idea (depending on the laws of your area). If not, at least a stun gun or pepper spray is better than nothing.

She also should have kept to the well lit main streets, even if it meant taking longer to get home. Even though, in the show, the alleys she passed were harmless, she should have given them a little wider berth than she was. Remember: the FBI says an assailant has to be at least 12 feet away when they charge for you to effectively draw a gun, aim and fire when the defender isn’t prepared. Giving yourself that extra 3 feet by walking right next to the curb could make a difference.

Once she realized something was off, she high tailed it home. Given her choice of paths, this was her only choice. If you happen to be walking along and sense something is off, immediately start looking for options. Is there a 24 hour convenience store nearby? How about a Walmart? A bar? Look for anything that’s open and has people then get in there (provided it isn’t some place called “Crazy Dave’s 24-Hour Murder You Emporium”).

Her shoes were also a hindrance. Most places have a break room or lockers or something where employees can lock up their stuff. Bring some freaking sneakers to change into at the end of the day. If you have to run from a machete wielding lunatic, you’ll be glad you did.

When she finally and miraculously got to her door, another lapse in judgement showed up. She had too many keys that weren’t organized in any way. I’ve never understood how people can have that many keys on a chain in movies. We’re talking dozens of keys with a huge key ring! Let’s look at my key chain: car key, house key, garage key, parent’s house key, office front door key, key to office itself. They’re in that exact order. I use my house key and car key more than any other so they’re right next to each other on the chain. The office key, which I use once a day is on the other side of that car key. I can find either key without even looking at my key chain because they’re both right next to that huge car key. It wouldn’t matter how many other keys I have, as long as I have that initial index. If you don’t have a car, use one of those decorative key chain things with the clever sayings on it, or a key chain based bottle opener. Something that you can instantly spot or feel.

Your ordeal doesn’t end once you get into your home either. If you truly felt you were being followed, call the police. Barricade the door and be ready to defend. This isn’t hide and seek and your front door isn’t base. A ne’er do well isn’t going to say, “Well, she made it inside. I guess I’ll go find someone else.”

Your door isn’t going to hold up to a few good kicks and that little chain on the door also isn’t going to do anything against a slightly less than firm shove.

Supernatural3Now, if your pursuer is something of the spiritual variety, like in our opening scenario, barricading isn’t going to do much. You should probably spread salt along your doors and windows like the show suggests.

Anyway, the scenes in movies and TV shows suggest a worst case scenario. There’s nothing wrong with planning for the worst and hoping for the best. Sometimes, just modifying even one bit of your behavior can pay off exponentially. Any time you see a scene in a movie or read a news article, ask yourself what you would have done. Be honest with yourself and your abilities. I know we’d all like to think we’d go all Matrix Kung Fu on them but it’s not realistic. Either way, there’s some crazy people out there. It’s up to you to protect yourself from them. The best way to do that is be prepared. Best way to be prepared is to have knowledge. A great philosopher once said “knowing is half the battle”.

Side note: rock salt seems to work the best as a ward against ghosts and demons, according to folklore, so don’t waste your time with the iodized table salt.


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