Fashion Tips for the Range
Last week, we talked about indoor and outdoor shooting ranges. I want to stay on the subject of shooting ranges a bit longer. I say this because a friend of mine emailed me a picture he took of a group of people at a range. As soon as I saw the picture, I didn’t even have to read the story that followed. I could pretty much guess and, as it turns out, I was right.
I can’t post the picture because I don’t have permissions of the people in it but let me try to describe the scene for you: It was a group of people. There were 3 women and one guy. All parties involved were dressed to impress. I’m not talking business casual, I’m talking borderline club wear. There was cleavage and skin showing all over the place. They guy had on casual shoes with no socks, the ladies were wearing heels and had some really low cut dresses. Actually, I wouldn’t exactly call them dresses. They were more like gownless evening straps. The picture at the top was the closest I could find. Just image a giant douchebag standing behind them with orange skin and making a duckface and the picture would be perfect.
Can you guess the story that accompanied the photo? It was so stereotypical that, at first, I thought my friend was messing with me. He pointed me to posts from his buddy that was also there at the time that confirmed the story. The guy in the picture, henceforth referred to as Mr. Douchebag or Mr. D, for short, had taken it upon himself to teach some of his lady friends how to shoot. his own skills being questionable at best, from what I can piece together. He brings out his big .45 caliber Glock, shows them the “proper grip” and then proceeds to show off his “marksmanship skills”. I put quotes around because his “proper grip” was the infamous “Hollywood Cup” and his “skills” were, well, they were all within the silhouette but it was about an 8 inch group at 7 yards.
I should note, I’m not making fun of that grouping. It’s usually my first goal when I’m teaching a 1st time shooter. Get them all center mass at 7 yards within the outline then we can work on tightening that group down. This guy, however, was trying to present himself as an expert. That’s an entirely different situation and, in this case, a dangerous one.
So after demonstrating his skills, he reloads the gun and hands it to the first lady then just steps back. Her friends crowd around her to watch. Naturally, the gun not only scared the heck out of them all with each shot (prompting loud laughter from Mr. D), but here is where it gets interesting: remember those club outfits? The brass was flying into cleavage left and right. At one point, one piece of hot brass landed in one of the girls’ shoe and another landed in Mr. D’s shoe. Each of these led to the majestic Hot Brass Ballet with no regard for where the loaded gun was pointing.
Fortunately, one of the employees eventually came in and removed the group from the range for safety violations. Frankly, I’m surprised they let the group in at all.
Now, I could write a book on all the things that went wrong here and how this jerk more than likely turned 3 people away from shooting forever but I’m going to focus on the outfits for now. What you wear to a range is almost as important as what you bring with you. When I take someone shooting for the first time, this is what I tell them:
- No low cut shirts – This is the big one. Spent brass is REALLY hot when it leaves the gun and it stays hot for a surprisingly long time. The cleavage also seems to emit some strange and powerful gravitational field that attracts brass right to it. I’m going to avoid the obvious joke here. Anyway, a normal, run-of-the-mill t-shirt is the best option here. For guys, a button down shirt or collared t-shirt is fine, just make sure you button it up.
- Don’t wear clothes that you don’t want getting dirty – It’s been tempting, on more than one occasion, to go blow off some steam at the range during a lunch break. I think the official term is “group therapy”. Anyway, whenever I get that urge, I think back to my normal range days: I get filthy. Now, I’m a person who hates being dirty. I can change the oil in a car and only get the very tips of my fingers messy. Smokeless powder is dirty and the carbon gets everywhere. You will get unburned powder on your arms. You will get stuff on your hands. You will have crud all over you. If you’ve got a job interview, I wouldn’t stop by a range on the way there. I should note, that the girls in the story above started complaining about getting their dresses dirty within about 5 minutes.
- No open shoes – Sneakers/tennis shoes are perfectly fine. Socks are a must as well. If you think getting a burning piece of brass out of your shirt is tough, try digging it out of your shoe. Sure, you could yank your shoe off, but unless you’re really good at balancing on one leg you’re likely to then step on hot brass that’s sitting on the ground. The pain of stepping on hot brass (or any brass for that matter) while barefoot is second only to stepping on a Lego piece.
- Avoid contact lenses if at all possible – You ever get a piece of dust or a hair behind one of your contacts? It sucks doesn’t it? Now imagine if that piece of dust was covered with cayenne pepper and on fire. Unburned powder gets everywhere and, unless you’re wearing a scuba mask, it can easily slip behind your safety glasses. I’ve seen it happen and it’s not pretty. Trust me on this, you don’t want to be trying to dig that out from behind your contact lens.
Remember, this is a shooting range not a bar or club. You’re not there to pick up chicks or dudes. You’re there to shoot a gun and keep yourself and others at the range safe. It is a great date spot, don’t get me wrong, but safety must be considered above all else. If you want a date where you can dress to impress, the range might not be the best choice of locations.
Picture used under Creative Commons License from Ian Murphy.
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