Top 10 Gun Movies

The guilty pleasure of movies. Hollywood is, without a doubt, responsible for about 98% of the world’s misconceptions about firearms. Who cares!? They are also responsible for some of the greatest “gun porn” on the planet! There is nothing like a good action film. Throw in an over the top gun fight with impossible magazine capacity and a complete disregard for the laws of physics and you have what is lovingly called “gun porn”. I present to you my list of the Top 10 Gun Porn movies!

10: Wanted

You wake up one day to find out that your father was a member of an ancient order of assassins and you’re next in line for recruitment and you have to avenge his death. I hate when that happens. Let’s address the elephant in the room: yes, bending a bullet is physically impossible and borderline stupid but for crying out loud it worked in this movie. Throw in even more action sequences that defy Newtonian physics and this movie doesn’t just ask you to suspend your disbelief, it wants you to execute it…preferably with a curved bullet.

9: Shoot ‘Em Up

I’ve always felt Clive Owen was a very underrated action film star. I first saw him in BMW’s “The Driver” series of online commercials. It was great to see him starring in this insane and hilarious movie. With a body count of 106, 15 gallons of fake blood and featuring well over 200 different guns (some of which were designed specifically for this movie). If you’re looking for things like “character development” and “metaphors” then this definitely isn’t the movie for you. I’ve gotta give them some definite bonus points for turning Paul Giamatti into a surprisingly effective action villain.

8: The Killer

If action films were ballet, then John Woo would be..uhm…whoever is really good at making ballets. What do you want from me? I’m the Gun Noob, not a fine arts expert. Where most films keep a 1 or 2 bullets to kill a bad guy rule, Woo started the whole “1 gun per bad guy” type of sequence. All of his gun fights are choreographed expertly and it’s almost a work of art than an action sequence. It was hard deciding between his films. It came down to Hard Boiled and The Killer. After hours of consideration and much deliberation on forums, I flipped a coin.

7: Desperado

Tarantino has shown time and time again that he knows how to make an action film. He also knows how to make things so over the top that they almost become believable again. I’ve got to give credit to this movie for creating the most intense gun scene I’ve ever watched in which a gun is never fired. I’m talking about the scene where he’s trying to quietly reload his gun while hiding under a desk surrounded by bad guys. I don’t know about you but I was holding my breath the whole time. Bravo, Mr. Tarantino. Bravo.

6: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Turn to the person sitting on either side of you and say “quick! name a western movie!”. I’d say there’s a 90% chance that they’re going to name “The Good, The Bad & The Ugly” even if they’ve never seen it. Either way, even people that have never seen it know that whistle tune. This is the master piece of the old western films and Clint Eastwood (real name Cuddles McGee) is perfect as the lead.

5: Tied: Snatch/Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels

I know I wound up flipping a coin earlier for John Woo’s films but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it here. Both of these movies were so good in their own right that even the coin was like “I can’t decide either”. For some reason, Guy Ritchie is able to make the most hilarious and off the wall action films I’ve ever seen. Snatch is worth a watch for no other reason than Bullet Tooth Tony’s monologue about his .50 Desert Eagle.

4: Dirty Harry

Cuddles McGee makes his second appearance on this list. I debated for a while about including this movie but there aren’t many films out there that can honestly say they turned a single gun into a cultural icon. The .44 Magnum Smith & Wesson Model 29 became one of the most sought after firearms in the country thanks to this film. Say it with me now: “Did he fire six shots, or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well do ya, punk?”

3: The Boondock Saints

Some would say this should be lower on the list. Some would say it should be number one. To those people I say: “go start your own gun blog and make your own action movie list”. The fact that the stars used one of my personal favorite handguns throughout the movie means it comes in at number 3. This was a crazy, profanity laden trip with strange characters and an even stranger flow but dammit this was an enjoyable movie. The story of 2 Irish brothers out to rid Boston of evil and a crazy FBI agent trying to find them. This movie was almost universally hated by critics and has its own cult following.

2: Equilibrium

Sometimes you can have an absolutely incredible and unique movie and, due to no other reason than it was released in the wrong month, it can fade into obscurity and never get the accolades it deserves. For proof of that, you don’t need to look any farther than “Equilibrium”. This is a classic tale of one man fighting back against the system but it brought so much more to the table. Awesome guns, cools fights and, of course, the “gun kata”. This is a special martial art reminiscent of Kung-Fu that uses guns instead of swords but that description doesn’t do it justice at all. The reason that you haven’t heard of this movie? It came out at the same time as our number 1 Gun Porn Flick….

#1: The Matrix

First off, forget the horrible sequels ever existed. Delete them from your brain. As a standalone movie, The Matrix changed and arguably redefined action cinema. Using cinematography that had never been seen before and has been copied constantly ever since. This movie had you walking out of the theater with one question: “what is reality?”…that or “if I really believe can I run up that wall over there?”

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