How To Poop Like A Samurai?
Over at The Art of Manliness, they’ve posted an article that got me thinking. He spoke of a samurai master that never stopped training. As they put it in the article: “everything he did, he did with great purpose. As he was a sword master, he continued in his study of the sword. When it rained, the master would go outside, crouch in the rain shadow under the house’s eaves, and cut rain drops dripping from the roof line as they fell. He never stopped studying what he did. Bushido taught zanshin as preparedness for battle, which could come at any time. Even, say, when one was on the toilet.”
He went on to talk about how the samurai would sit while on the toilet. The samurai would remove one of his legs from his pants in order to improve his mobility in the case that he’s attacked while on the toilet. Now, the focus of the article was more on the biological aspect and how this particular position (explained more in the article) would make it easier for things to flow and it does seem to work quite well. That’s not why I bring it up, mind you. The point the samurai made was that you never know when you’re going to be attacked.
This is a valid point. Have you ever stopped to think about just how vulnerable you are when you’re doing your business? When guys are at a urinal, our backs are to the room and, depending on the dividers, our view is very limited. There’s also a socially built in tendency to keep our eyes focused forward. An assault/robbery would be so easy. When you’re sitting, it’s worse. Not only are you at an already disadvantaged position, but our legs are essentially tied up. I doubt there’s anyone here that hasn’t had to do the toilet paper shuffle across a room (you know, when you realize the only TP in the house is in another room or on the other side of the bathroom?). You just can’t move easily.
While I would never want to pull a leg out of my pants in a public restroom because…eww, at home it’s a different story. A home invasion robber isn’t going to say “oh, dude, I didn’t realize you were on the toilet. I’ll come back in 5 minutes.” At least realizing how vulnerable you are in public, you can try to figure out ways to protect yourself should someone try to kick the stall in. It’s not like that has never happened…
So head on over to Art of Manliness to read up on how samurais did their duty. If anything, it’ll make the morning after burrito night easier.
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